


Right in Front of Me

by sugarplumjae



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2young - Freeform, 2young is my second? favorite ship, And angst, M/M, Past 2jae, cotton candy angst, idk they're my two biases so i really like them together, jaebum isn't a good guy in this okay, jinyoung is an angel, jinyoung just wants to love youngjae, mostly because i didn't feel like writing it lol, the smut is implied, this is mostly fluff tbh, youngjae is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 10:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarplumjae/pseuds/sugarplumjae
Summary: Jinyoung was always there to comfort Youngjae through his on again, off again relationship with Jaebum. He loved his younger roommate and he’d always be there for him, even if Youngjae never looked at him the same. But when Youngjae and Jaebum apparently break up for good, Jinyoung’s comforting goes a bit too far, and he gets a taste of what he’s always wanted. Unfortunately, he’s afraid that confessing his feelings to Youngjae after what happened may ruin everything between them.





	Right in Front of Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ffairyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffairyy/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [ffairyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffairyy/pseuds/ffairyy) in the [Got7RarePairFest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Got7RarePairFest) collection. 



> Is that what happened? Did Jinyoung take advantage of Youngjae when he was vulnerable? Jinyoung tried to convince himself that no, that isn’t what happened, because it was Youngjae who initiated things after all, but he didn’t really believe it. Jinyoung should have been the friend Youngjae needed, but instead he left himself indulge in Youngjae’s need for intimacy. Youngjae took ahold of one of Jinyoung’s hands across the table, interlacing their fingers just like the night before. He was smiling more now, the uneasy look from before completely erased, but Jinyoung had never felt so selfish as he did in that moment.

Jinyoung pulled out his phone while he was waiting for the two iced americanos he ordered – for him and Youngjae – to be finished. He heard the notification his phone makes specifically when Youngjae texts him, and he couldn’t help but feel a happy immediately just from hearing the sound.  Even after being friends and roommates for so long, Jinyoung still felt so happy just from getting a text message from Youngjae.

_Youngjae: Hey hyung, are you coming home sometime soon?_

Jinyoung read the message quickly and let out a long breath. He knew exactly what that text meant. He had received it too many times before.

_Jinyoung: So I guess that means Jaebum is coming over then? Guess I’ll just have to give this iced americano to Mark then. I’ll just come back in the morning, Youngjae-yah._

_Youngjae: Hyung that’s not it. Will you just come home?_

_That’s weird_ , Jinyoung thought to himself. Most of the time when he received that message it meant that Jaebum was coming over and Jinyoung definitely didn’t want to be there.

_Jinyoung: What’s going on Youngjae?_

Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel a bit worried, and the feeling only grew heavier as he received the next text message almost instantaneously.

_Youngjae: Hyung… please just come home._

Luckily the drinks were done just in time. Even if they hadn’t been done, he would have left anyway. Youngjae was more important. Youngjae was _always_ more important.

* * *

 

When Jinyoung arrived home at their shared apartment, Youngjae wasn’t in the living room like he usually was. It’s not until Jinyoung checks Youngjae’s room that Jinyoung sees him, lying down on the bed facing away from the door.

“Youngjae-yah?” He asked softly, but to no avail. Youngjae didn’t move an inch. So Jinyoung placed the drinks down on the dresser and walked over to the bed. He sat on the corner of it and looked down at Youngjae, immediately regretting it due to the sharp pain it caused in his chest.

Youngjae’s lips were flatlined and Jinyoung may have believed that there was no emotion in his gaze, but the red cheeks and puffy eyes gave away how Youngjae was truly feeling. Youngjae had been crying. Youngjae _never_ cries.

“Youngjae what happened? Why were you crying?” Jinyoung asked, hopefully not as frantically as it sounded in his head. Youngjae finally turned his head to look at the older man and he wasn’t even hiding how bad he must have felt anymore.

“Jaebum isn’t coming over anymore. At all.” Jinyoung’s eyes widened slightly. It definitely wasn’t uncommon for Jaebum and Youngjae to quarrel about something and “break up” but they always got back together at some point… much to Jinyoung’s dismay. However, Youngjae had never said it like that and he had definitely never cried. Something really bad must have happened this time.

“Youngjae… tell me what happened.” Jinyoung whispered. Youngjae was still lying on his side so Jinyoung laid down in the same direction and placed an arm around him, rubbing softly against Youngjae’s stomach.

“We’re done. Really done this time hyung. I… I saw him…” Youngjae trailed off, and Jinyoung immediately feared the worst. He didn’t have to think much about it however, because Youngjae quickly gained his composure again and finished the sentence. “I saw him with someone else, hyung. He said he was busy but I saw him with someone else. The same place that he and I go used to go to all the time.”

There were no words that Jinyoung would be able to say to soothe Youngjae in this situation so he continued. Youngjae had, fortunately, stopped crying before Youngjae arrived home. Jinyoung could barely manage to keep himself together knowing that Youngjae had been crying at home by himself, but there’s no way he could bear actually seeing or hearing Youngjae cry.

Anger was already burning him up but he knew he needed to keep himself calm for Youngjae’s sake. Even if it wouldn’t necessarily be a lie, Youngjae didn’t need someone griping about how bad Jaebum treated him. He didn’t need an “I told you so”. What Youngjae needed right now was someone to comfort him and Jinyoung would always be there for him.

So he listened to Youngjae talk about all of the issues between himself and his ex-boyfriend. Apparently Youngjae had been suspecting something was wrong for some time now. Jaebum had become more accusatory and busier as of late. Jinyoung was honestly heartbroken knowing that Youngjae had kept all of this to himself for so long. He knew how Youngjae tended to dwell on things without telling anyone.

Jinyoung had noticed that their “break ups” had become more frequent, to be fair, but he didn’t think that Jaebum was cheating. He thought their relationship wasn’t working, but he wouldn’t have assumed that Jaebum was that horrible of a guy.

When Youngjae finally turned over to look Jinyoung face-to-face, the slight swelling had gone down from his eyes and he looked… okay. He was smiling at Jinyoung, the same soft smile he always had, and Jinyoung instantly felt lighter and happier. 

Youngjae nuzzled his face into the crook of Jinyoung’s neck and he could feel his neck become slightly damp from the still-drying tears. Jinyoung didn’t say a word, instead choosing to wrap his arms around Youngjae even tighter and running his fingers through Youngjae’s soft honey-brown tresses. He pushed away the thoughts of how badly he wanted to lie like this with Youngjae every day, not just to soothe Youngjae’s broken heart.

Youngjae adjusted slightly so his chin was resting on Jinyoung’s shoulder and Jinyoung could feel another tear land on his skin. “It’s not fair, hyung. How could he treat me like this? I know it’s not my fault, but I don’t understand. How come he gets to be rude and accuse me of things when _he_ was the one who was cheating? How does that even make sense?” Youngjae rambled, and Jinyoung figured he’d be thinking about things like this for some time now.

“Don’t try to make sense of it, Youngjae-yah. It won’t. He was accusatory because he was insecure. He was projecting his own guilt onto you. Don’t try to rationalize it.” Youngjae nodded and muttered an “okay”.

After what seemed like only moments, but quite possibly could have been much longer – the time always seemed to go by too fast when Jinyoung was with Youngjae – Youngjae leaned up and looked at Jinyoung again. Youngjae’s face was so close and Jinyoung felt his cheeks warm up.

“You’re always there for me, hyung. You always have been. I really love you for that, you know?” Youngjae said so cheerfully, and Jinyoung’s breath hitched and he nodded curtly. “I’ll always be there for you, Youngjae-yah. And…I love you too.” _So much more than you know_ , Jinyoung thought to himself.

“How much?” Youngjae asked, still way too close and looking Jinyoung in the eyes. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and his voice stuttered. _What does that even mean?_ Youngjae kept eyeing him and he could feel warm breath on his face from the close proximity.

“I’m not sure.” Jinyoung replied, quite honestly. He was pretty sure that it wasn’t possible to measure love for someone but he knew that, even if it were, his for Youngjae would still be immeasurable. He had loved his younger roommate and friend too much for too long.

Youngjae sensed no ulterior meaning in Jinyoung’s words, however, and he laughed lightly. In an instant Youngjae closed the distance between them and placed his lips against Jinyoung’s softly. Jinyoung’s eyes grew impossibly wide and he felt his heart beat quicken, but not because this was something he had wanted so badly. Jinyoung was afraid. Somehow Youngjae had found out about Jinyoung’s feelings. He had no idea _how_ Youngjae had figured out. Mark wouldn’t have betrayed Jinyoung and told him.

Jinyoung’s lips were quivering and he felt Youngjae pull away slightly but only to whisper “It’s okay, hyung” before kissing him again with more pressure. When he felt Youngjae’s hand on the back of his head and his fingers tangled into and pulled slightly at Jinyoung’s raven-black curls, he let go and pressed back with all the love he’d be holding back for so long.

Not long after, Youngjae moved one leg to the other side of Jinyoung’s, essentially straddling the older boy and Jinyoung let himself fall back on the bed to stare up at Youngjae. With Youngjae looking back at him, he realized this might not be a good idea. Was Youngjae just using him as a rebound for Jaebum? Was Youngjae even in his right mind? The look in the younger boy’s eyes above him was full want, or maybe Jinyoung was just _hoping_ that’s what it was.  But if Youngjae knew about Jinyoung’s feelings, and he did seem to know about them, was this Youngjae’s way of showing that he accepts them? _Maybe we should slow down_ , he thought to himself, but he didn’t voice his concerns. Of course he wanted this, but he didn’t want either of them to get hurt in the end.

But Youngjae was looking at him like he truly wanted this, and Jinyoung had _always_ wanted this. So when Youngjae leaned down again and kissed Jinyoung and laced their fingers together, Jinyoung didn’t hesitate. When Youngjae took a step forward and removed more of their clothing to gain better access to Jinyoung’s porcelain skin, Jinyoung welcomed it. He allowed himself to get lost in the pleasure that Youngjae was giving him from his lips all over Jinyoung’s skin from his collarbone, down his stomach, and where Jinyoung had imagined Youngjae touching and pleasing so many times. The more noise that Jinyoung would make, the more it seemed encourage the boy hovering above him, and Jinyoung was losing himself in it. And finally, when Youngjae coaxed him onto his hands and knees and settled behind him, Jinyoung willingly obliged. He wanted every single thing Youngjae was willing to give to him.   
  
After the two were finished, they showered and got into Jinyoung’s bed. Youngjae curled up behind him and threw and arm around Jinyoung’s abdomen. “You’re not… sore or anything, right hyung?” “Are you asking if it’s my first time getting fucked?” Jinyoung laughed, and promptly received a slight smack on his shoulder. “Well, it’s not. So I’m fine Youngjae, don’t worry about it.”

“I was just making sure you’re okay! It was my first time, err…” Youngjae’s voice trailed off. “It was your first time what? Topping?” He felt Youngjae press his face against Jinyoung’s back in embarrassment. “Seriously? All that time and Jaebum never let you?” “He said bottoming wasn’t really his thing.” Youngjae whispered in response.

Jinyoung felt slightly angry at the revelation, but he wasn’t going to let Youngjae get upset about Jaebum again. “Well, I am honored to be the first for you, Mr. Choi.” He felt Youngjae’s body shake in laughter and when he stopped he said “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you since I didn’t really know what I was doing…” “You did great, Youngjae-yah.”

* * *

 

When Jinyoung woke up the next morning, Youngjae wasn’t there. He wasn’t too hard to find though, sitting at the small dining table the two shared with a cup of coffee. He had on the shorts he was wearing the night prior and there was a look on his face that immediately told Jinyoung something was off.

Youngjae barely moved when Jinyoung walked into the kitchen. “There’s some more coffee in the pot, hyung”, Youngjae muttered, not even looking up from his mug. Jinyoung got a cup of his own and sat in the chair across from his roommate.

“When did you wake up, Youngjae?” “A few hours ago. I couldn’t sleep very well last night, I guess.” Jinyoung immediately felt bad considering he slept _wonderfully_. He had felt exhausted after what had happened last night, and having Youngjae’s arms around him made him feel so warm, effortlessly easing him to sleep.

“Is everything alright?” Jinyoung was afraid that Youngjae was worried about Jaebum again. Even worse, maybe Youngjae was regretting what happened. The gloomy look on Youngjae’s face, paired with the fact that he hadn’t even looked Jinyoung in the eye yet, was making him more nervous with every second that passed.

“I’m just…” Jinyoung waited patiently for the imminent bad news. “I’m really sorry about last night, Jinyoung-hyung. I know you probably did that because you didn’t want to make me feel even worse. I’m sorry for putting you in that situation and I really hope that this doesn’t make things awkward between us... hyung?” Youngjae was looking up at Jinyoung now, who was wide-eyed and speechless.

Youngjae wasn’t regretting what happened last night, he thought _Jinyoung_ regretted it. He was apologizing for what he thought was him pressuring Jinyoung into it. Youngjae had no idea of Jinyoung’s feelings last night. He had no idea how much what happened meant to Jinyoung. He thought that Jinyoung was only participating to make Youngjae feel better.

“Hyung…are you upset at me?” Youngjae repeated, and Jinyoung finally snapped out of it. “No! Ahh, I mean no, Youngjae, I’m not upset. You don’t really need to apologize for anything. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I don’t regret it.” “Really?” Youngjae whispered, already hiding his face again.

“Yes, Youngjae, really. Look up at me please?” Youngjae looked up immediately, but he looked so sad as if he didn’t believe that Jinyoung was okay with that. “Youngjae… everything is fine between us. You don’t need to regret what you did, and I don’t regret what I did. We’re fine. We’ll be fine. _You_ will be fine.”

He watched as a small smile made its way to Youngjae’s face. This time it was Jinyoung feeling apprehensive though. He thought that Youngjae had accepted Jinyoung’s feelings, Jinyoung’s _love_ for his younger roommate, but it wasn’t like that at all. If Jinyoung told him about his feelings now, Youngjae might feel like Jinyoung was the one who took advantage of his heartbroken state the previous night.

Is that what happened? Did Jinyoung take advantage of Youngjae when he was vulnerable? Jinyoung tried to convince himself that no, that isn’t what happened, because it was Youngjae who initiated things after all, but he didn’t really believe it. Jinyoung should have been the friend Youngjae needed, but instead he left himself indulge in Youngjae’s need for intimacy. Youngjae took ahold of one of Jinyoung’s hands across the table, interlacing their fingers just like the night before. He was smiling more now, the uneasy look from before completely erased, but Jinyoung had never felt so selfish as he did in that moment.

* * *

 

 Almost a week had passed since Youngjae and Jaebum’s break-up, along with everything that happened between Jinyoung and Youngjae, and both Youngjae and Jinyoung were coming to terms with everything that happened.

Jinyoung had finally begun to accept that he hadn’t just taken advantage of Youngjae in his vulnerable state. Jinyoung didn’t deny that he shouldn’t have been so quick to accept and reciprocate Youngjae’s advances, but it was also what Youngjae wanted at the time and Jinyoung would have done absolutely anything that Youngjae wanted. Even if he could have thought clearly, he would have done it anyway. Sometimes you can’t help making bad decisions when you love someone.

Youngjae had also begun to adapt to his life without Jaebum, honestly much easier than Jinyoung expected him to. Youngjae didn’t cry or even sulk about Jaebum. It was possible that he was holding everything in to make Jinyoung worry about him less – not that it would have worked, since Jinyoung was always looking out for Youngjae whether the younger boy knew it or not – but he honestly did seem to be doing okay. Youngjae seemed to have sensed something was wrong long before the breakup anyway, so maybe that helped him to heal a bit faster.

That is, until one evening nearly one week after everything had happened. Jinyoung was already in the kitchen making food for the two of them when he heard Youngjae open and shut the door a bit more aggressively than normal.

Jinyoung put down the knife and walked out of the kitchen with a scowl on his face, fully intending to scold Youngjae for nearly slamming the door, but he stopped as soon as he saw the frown on Youngjae’s face.

“Youngjae what’s wrong?” he asked frantically, but Youngjae didn’t say anything. He just kicked his shoes off near the door and walked to the loveseat. Luckily nothing that Jinyoung was making needed immediate attention so he walked over and sat next to him, waiting for Youngjae to speak up.

Sure enough, it didn’t take long before Youngjae looked over at Jinyoung, the frown still showing clearly. “Jaebum came to my work today.” Jinyoung’s lips tightened and he wanted to say something, to immediately get angry at Jaebum, but he waited for Youngjae to finish.

“He came to my work, and he asked me ‘Hey Youngjae, how are you doing?’ like nothing even fucking happened. Like he did _nothing_ wrong at all and we were just friends making small talk. What the fuck is that hyung?” his voice had gotten louder and shakier as he spoke, and Jinyoung could tell he was near his breaking point, already tearing up.

“Youngjae…” Jinyoung started, but his voice trailed off. He had no idea what to say so he just put his arms around Youngjae once again, trying his best to ignore the sadness that washed over him. Maybe it was from seeing Youngjae in this state or maybe it was because he wanted so badly to hold Youngjae like this when Youngjae _wasn’t_ crying, or maybe it was both.

Youngjae spoke up again after what felt like an eternity of quiet sobbing. Youngjae’s face was hidden from his view so Jinyoung couldn’t see it, but he could feel Youngjae’s body shaking slightly and it make Jinyoung’s heart hurt.

“It’s like he intentionally came there just to mock me, just to show me that not being with me anymore doesn’t even phase him.” Youngjae stuttered. “Is it possible that it was just a coincidence? Maybe he didn’t know you would be working at that time, Youngjae-yah.” “I gave him a copy of my schedule so we could plan our time together around when I worked.” With that, Jinyoung had nothing to say, so he just continued to hold him.

* * *

 

Jaebum didn’t come back to the coffee shop after that, and Youngjae finally managed to relax at work again. At first Youngjae didn’t even want to go into work just from the fear of how badly Jaebum still affected him. Jinyoung realized that he was right after all – Youngjae was just hiding how badly hurt he actually was.

When he finally returned to work he was apprehensive, worried that Jaebum would show up at any time. He would probably even bring the man that Youngjae had seen him with that night. Youngjae couldn’t see the man very well since he was a distance away but he was pretty sure that the man was stunning. He had platinum blonde hair and he obviously worked out a lot. Jinyoung felt absolutely horrible when Youngjae had told him that it was no surprise that Jaebum left him for someone who obviously looked so much better. While Jinyoung and Youngjae almost always agreed on things, Jinyoung had never wanted to disagree with Youngjae and argue his point so much.

But luckily now he was feeling better, since Jaebum hadn’t shown up in over a week. Youngjae looked tired when he returned home one night and Jinyoung almost felt bad for having the day off that day. A job as a barista can be such hard work, and there were some days when Youngjae came home absolutely exhausted.

It was on those days that Jinyoung wanted so badly to make Youngjae’s favorite foods, draw him a warm bubble bath, and massage his muscles wherever he was hurting. Jinyoung wanted to treat Youngjae like the prince he saw him as, to not only be able to tell him how much he loved Youngjae but show him as well.

But he couldn’t do that, so he decided to settle for the next best thing. “Youngjae, how about we go get some food tonight somewhere? Maybe a few drinks. Maybe it will help you relax.” Youngjae gave him a tired smile and nodded. “That does sound nice hyung…as long as you’re paying for the drinks.” Jinyoung let out an overly dramatic sigh. “I’m only paying because you’re the one who had to work today, you brat.”

* * *

 

Their dinner and drinks definitely were what both of them needed. The alcohol helped the two of them loosen up and their conversation was flowing smoothly. Youngjae didn’t even talk about Jaebum at all. When they got back to their apartment Youngjae decided to go to bed immediately, still so tired from work earlier that day.

Jinyoung wasn’t quite as tired since he had napped while Youngjae was working so he made a call to his best friend Mark who quickly answered, too loudly for Jinyoung’s taste.

“ _Jinyoung you were supposed to call me earlier while Youngjae was working!_ ” he shouted, and Jinyoung tried his best to shush him. The alcohol was starting to make his head hurt, or maybe it was just Mark. “I know but I ended up taking a nap. Sorry, Mark-hyung.”

“ _It’s fine. But you promised me more details and I would like them now please. What has been going on with you and Youngjae? You said that_ something _happened, but what exactly is something?”_ Mark was quieter this time, thankfully.

“Honestly not much has happened at all in almost two weeks. But the night that Jaebum and Youngjae broke up…something did happen...” Jinyoung stated, his voice trailing off near the end.

“ _Okay, continue_.” Mark egged him on, and Jinyoung sighed. “So I came home to comfort him, and things got very…intimate.”

“ _Did you kiss him?!_ ” Mark shouted, and Jinyoung shushed him again, louder this time. “Well, yes, I did kiss him… but that’s not really what I meant.”

“ _Oh… ohh! Are you trying to tell me that you fucked Youngjae?! Damn, Jinyoung!_ ” Jinyoung felt his cheeks heat up at the lewd phrasing.

“Well, we did have sex…but technically he’s the one who fucked me, if you know what I mean…” Jinyoung was so embarrassed, and Mark’s laughing over the phone was only making it worse.

“ _So you mean Youngjae fucked you! Woah! I bet you loved that, huh?”_

“Oh my god hyung shut up! You’re making this so embarrassing. Although yeah, it was pretty incredible.”

_“That’s like a dream come true for you, isn’t it? Did you tell him how you felt? Please tell me that you confessed and you two are already on your way to living happily ever after.”_ Mark’s mood changed from joking to almost serious. Despite Mark and Jinyoung teasing each other so much, they both cared so much for each other and Mark was always hoping that Jinyoung and Youngjae would be together.

“No hyung, I didn’t confess. How could I? ‘Oh hey Youngjae, I know you just broke up with Jaebum but honestly I’ve been in love with you for years and I’ll do anything for you. Please be my boyfriend.’ Is that how I should have done it?” Jinyoung mocked.

_“Honestly yeah that’s pretty much how you should have done it.”_ Mark replied, just as equally mockingly and Jinyoung facepalmed hard.

“I couldn’t have done that. He really needed a friend then, hyung.” Jinyoung explained, and Mark quickly snorted and said “Friends don’t usually fuck other friends after break-ups, Jinyoung.”

“I know friends don’t normally fuck each other after break-ups! But it’s Youngjae. You know I would do anything for Youngjae. There’s no way I could say no to him. Being close to him, being intimate with him…it’s all I’ve ever wanted pretty much since I met him, Mark. I can’t say no to him.”

“I know, Jinyoungie. I know. Just… be careful, okay? He doesn’t know how you feel. If you do anything else like that, you might end up getting hurt pretty bad.” Mark’s tone was sympathetic and it’s exactly what Jinyoung needed. He already knew what could happen, but he still wouldn’t have the strength to say no to Youngjae if he younger boy did initiate anything like that again.

After that, the small talk between the two best friends became less eventful, and they eventually hung up so they could both get some sleep.

* * *

 

“Youngjae-yah, wake up.” Youngjae was always so damn difficult to wake up in the morning. When they they actually needed to be somewhere, Jinyoung might have gotten a little frustrated. But today was one of those lazy days where neither of them had anything planned, and he honestly thought it was cute more than anything else.

Youngjae was adorable when he was asleep. His hair would stick up every which way, and he’d get more and more pouty the more that Jinyoung would try and wake him up. Jinyoung always felt jealous when Youngjae had stayed over and Jaebum’s house. Just knowing that anyone else, especially _Jaebum,_ was able to see Youngjae like this made him feel so torn.

Finally Youngjae began to stir and he opened his eyes slightly to look up at Jinyoung. “Hyung, it’s my day off. What is it?” “Let’s go out today and do something, Youngjae-yah. I thought we could make get lunch and then do some shopping for some new clothes or something.” “You woke me up to tell me that?” Jinyoung sighed. He had to remind himself that Youngjae was always like this, and that this was worth the frustration of waking him up.

Usually Youngjae would spend as much time with Jaebum as possible. Just as he had said, they planned around the times that they both worked to spend time together, and that included the weekends. Jinyoung wasn’t used to having Youngjae to himself like this, but it was something he was sure that he’d never get tired of.

“Come on Youngjae, you can sleep all you want when we get home tonight.” Jinyoung pleaded, hoping that the younger boy would just give in and get out of bed already. Jinyoung had already made lunch reservations and he didn’t want to miss them.

“Will you sleep in here with me again tonight, hyung?” Youngjae asked with that low, raspy voice that would have caused Jinyoung to melt if it were possible.  “Umm… sure Youngjae. If that’s what you want.” Youngjae smiled up at him, eyes still half-closed, and he nodded. “That’s what I want, hyung.”

The question took Jinyoung back to just a few days ago where he actually did sleep with Youngjae. Neither of the two had mentioned it since, and honestly Jinyoung was okay with that. Any time he thought back to it he felt so ashamed. He wasn’t sure if it would be better to keep remembering how wonderful it was, or if it would be better to just forget that it happened. He felt like he was betraying Youngjae just for enjoying the memory of it.

“I’ll sleep in here then, if you’ll get up so we can go out.” Jinyoung said as he snapped himself out of it. Youngjae groaned and Jinyoung couldn’t help but laugh. “I made reservations at a pretty nice place though, so please make yourself look presentable.” _Who am I kidding? You always look stunning Youngjae_ , Jinyoung thought as he left the room and shook his head.

* * *

 

Later in the evening the two decided to watch a movie at home, some rom-com that both of them were interested in. “You know hyung, I had a really great time today. It was almost like you took me on the perfect date.” Youngjae said, laughing and jabbing Jinyoung a bit with his elbow. Jinyoung tried to match Youngjae’s laugh but to him it just sounded awkward and fake, because it was. If only it were a really date.

Sometime during the movie Youngjae laid his head against Jinyoung’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him, and Jinyoung felt so comfortable and so embarrassed all at once. These non-stop conflicting emotions that he had been feeling lately were starting to give him whiplash.

“You’re always there for me, Jinyoungie-hyungie. You always find a way to make me feel calm and happy. How do you do that?” Jinyoung felt even more embarrassed from the question and the incredibly cute nickname. If it were anyone else, Jinyoung would have felt cringey and possibly annoyed, but Youngjae had a way of making even cringey things seem innocent and adorable, even if Jinyoung knew Youngjae was anything but innocent. He knew it all too well now.

“What do you mean Youngjae-yah?”, he replied, “We’re roommates and we’ve been friends for years. Of course I know what helps to calm you down and make you happy.” He looked over at the younger boy beside him who was now looking back at him and he smiled. He was hoping Youngjae would just drop the subject, but the look on Youngjae’s face immediately told him that it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Is that the reason? Because we’re friends?” Youngjae pressed on with an unreadable expression. “I’m not really sure what you mean…” Jinyoung’s voice trailed off. He really was confused. Why _wouldn’t_ he take care of his friend?

“Is that the _only_ reason you take care of me, Jinyoung-hyung? Because we’re friends and roommates?” Jinyoung immediately felt his heart drop. He knew exactly where this was going and he wasn’t sure if it was going to be good or bad. Youngjae was holding onto him, so maybe it would be good. Either way, there was no way he was getting out of it. “Youngjae-yah…” his voice was shaky and he knew Youngjae could hear it too, but he felt Youngjae’s arms tighten around him and he froze.

“I heard you talking to Mark-hyung on the phone a few nights ago. I woke up from my nap early and I heard you talking about me. I’m sorry for listening in but you were talking about all the time we had been spending together and how happy you were that Jaebum and I broke up for good… Honestly at first, I was really confused as to why you would say something like that but I kept listening. You said something like how you were happy that maybe I would finally find someone who really cares about me. Then you said something like ‘No, I didn’t mean me…well maybe me. I love him so much but I’m just going to try and be there for him for now.’ And that’s when I stopped listening.”

_At least you didn’t hear me talking to Mark about you and I fucking then_ , he thought to himself. Jinyoung eases himself out of Youngjae’s arms, but he keeps his head bowed. He couldn’t even bear to look at Youngjae right now. He had absolutely no idea what was going through the younger boy’s head, but he knew that he had to say _something._

“So you heard that, huh?...” He whispered, but it was loud enough for Youngjae to hear. “Yeah hyung, I did.” Youngjae’s response was curt, but not cold. It seemed to Jinyoung like he just wanted an explanation, but he didn’t want to hurt Jinyoung. Of course Youngjae would try to be caring in this situation. Youngjae’s caring nature was just another reason that Jinyoung had fallen in love with him in the first place.

“Youngjae, I am so sorry. I honestly don’t know how to tell you how ashamed I’ve been feeling since that night. I’m so selfish, Youngjae. I’ve been spending so much time with you lately, but I’ve felt so guilty. I’ve almost felt like I’ve been stealing time from you. I haven’t done anything to deserve to spend time like this with-“

Jinyoung froze as soon as he felt Youngjae’s hand cover his mouth. Jinyoung’s head wasn’t bowed down anymore. Instead he was looking straight ahead because he still couldn’t dare to look at Youngjae. Youngjae then slid his hand onto Jinyoung’s cheek and turned his face slowly to look at the younger boy beside him. Jinyoung’s eyes veered away from Youngjae as soon as his face was turned.

“You don’t need to apologize for anything, hyung. Maybe it’s me who should apologize. I must have been so blind not to see what was right in front of me the whole time. It kills me to think that I was wasting my time with Jaebum this whole time when I could have been with someone who really loved me and has always treated me well.” Youngjae spoke quickly, and Jinyoung could tell that he still wasn’t entirely comfortable talking about Jaebum.

He heard Youngjae gasp and he watched a deep frown form on Youngjae’s face. “And all of the times I brought Jaebum here, and you had to watch me and him cuddle on the couch, and us kissing, and when we… I’m really sorry hyung, you must have been so uncomfortable and you just dealt with it by yourself.”

Jinyoung didn’t say a word in response. He didn’t want to make Youngjae feel even worse about something that he shouldn’t feel bad about. Even if Jinyoung didn’t like it, Jaebum was with Youngjae and so it’s just something that he had to keep his mouth shut about.

“So… you love me?” Youngjae asked as if he still didn’t believe it and needed a direct confirmation. “Yeah, Youngjae… I do.” Jinyoung couldn’t believe that he just admitted it. After so long of him pining and fantasizing of how he would confess, he actually did it. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but he felt so good. He wished that he had had the courage to say it so long ago.

“How long, hyung?” Youngjae asked, just as calmly as before. “Honestly Youngjae I don’t even know. At some point we were sitting on the couch together and you had fallen asleep. When I looked at your face, I just felt something that I can’t explain. It felt like my heart actually ached just looking at you and knowing that you belonged to someone else, and that you looked at _him_ the way that I would look at you. I knew then that it wasn’t just some crush. I was in love with you and it really, really hurt. Eventually the pain dulled, and I just accepted that you were with Jaebum. But it always bothered me, seeing you get hurt over and over.”

Youngjae was uncharacteristically quiet and it was beginning to put Jinyoung on edge. Finally, after what felt like _way too long_ , he spoke up again and took Jinyoung by surprise. “I guess I know now why you usually found a reason to leave when he came over…” “Yeah… but it’s fine Youngjae. We don’t need to talk about him right now.” Jinyoung said. He wasn’t sure if talking about Jaebum was more uncomfortable for him or for Youngjae.

 “So the other night, when we had sex…” Youngjae trailed off. “I felt so bad afterward because I felt like I had taken advantage of you when you were so hurt. I thought that you had somehow figured out how I felt and you accepted my feelings, but I didn’t really believe that. But even though I didn’t believe it, I still didn’t say no to you. Because I loved you so much for so long, and you were about to give me what I had always wanted. Just to be close with you like that… I wanted it so bad. I couldn’t say no to you. I never can say no to you.”

Jinyoung watched as Youngjae squirmed a bit on the couch beside him. He couldn’t tell what Youngjae was thinking, but now that he had started he wanted to get everything out in the open.

“The morning after, though, when you looked so distressed. When I realized that you hadn’t found out how I felt then I just felt so selfish and so dirty. I felt like I let you down. What you needed was a friend to comfort you, and I wasn’t that friend for you. I just let myself be selfish.” Jinyoung explained, but Youngjae’s eyes met his immediately.

“You did comfort me hyung! You didn’t take advantage of the situation. It’s what I wanted to do. You don’t need to feel bad about it. Please don’t feel bad about it.” Jinyoung nodded, but he couldn’t help but feel bad anyway.

“Hyung…I’m really not sure what to say.” Youngjae sounded so remorseful but he hadn’t even done anything wrong.  “You don’t need to say anything, Youngjae. I just hope everything will be okay between us. I really value you as a friend, no matter what my feelings are for you. Nothing really needs to change between us, okay?” Jinyoung knew he was pleading, but he was so afraid. He had a taste of what he had always wanted and he didn’t want to lose it. From being so intimate with Youngjae to spending so much time with him like he had always wanted, he couldn’t bear to think that Youngjae may not see Jinyoung as much. He would be satisfied with only being friends with Youngjae, as long as the younger boy would stay in his life.

His worrying stopped as soon as he felt Youngjae’s grasp his own and intertwine their fingers. He dared to look at Youngjae, and he felt so much lighter as soon as he saw Youngjae’s warm sunny smile beaming at him. “What if…I want things to change between us, hyung?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened, and Youngjae held onto his hand even tighter. “I know that it’s sudden, and I hope it doesn’t feel like I’m rushing things, but I’ve actually had a few days to think things over. At first I was shocked to hear it – I really had no idea, hyung. But the more I thought back to everything, it made so much since. You always took care of me, no matter what. If I was hurt from one of mine and Jaebum’s random stupid breakups, you didn’t complain. You just took care of me. You watched over me and you always gave me so much love…” he looked Jinyoung in the eye finally.

“I didn’t know that it was that kind of love, but it makes me see you as even more selfless than I thought. You’re really incredible, Jinyoung-hyung. You’ve always been right here in front of me. I can see it now, and I can’t ignore it. So…”

Jinyoung watched Youngjae close the distance between them again as if it were in slow motion. This time the kiss felt different. It wasn’t any less passionate than the first time, but there was so much more behind it. It was slow and sweet. Youngjae’s lips still felt rough from him biting them too much, but Jinyoung didn’t mind. He had never wanted to feel anyone else’s lips on his own more than this.

And when Youngjae pulled away just as slowly, Jinyoung didn’t feel worried or anxious. He knew that there would be so many more kisses to come.

“I know that we’ve pretty much already went all the way, hyung, but I want to take things slowly from now on, if it’s okay with you. I want to enjoy what it’s like to learn about you and be with you.” Youngjae sounded shy and Jinyoung loved it. He loved that he was making Youngjae feel that way. He smiled at the younger boy in front of him. “Of course, Youngjae-yah. That sounds perfect to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone, especially you ffairyy, enjoyed this! And I really hope this is okay for the prompt that you wrote! If anyone wants to talk to me outside of ao3, please feel free to visit my tumblr at sugarplumjae.tumblr.com ^^


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